Escaflowne in Wonderland
by RavenAngel
Summary: This story is on Haidus until summer...we just don't have very much time to sit infront of T.V.'s all day.


Escaflowne In Wonderland

Part One:

"...And has been of late accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Erwin and Morcha, the earls of Mercia and Northhumbria declared for him. And even Stigand—"Folken paused in his reading when Van's leg swung down in front of his face from above. "Van? Van!" Folken batted the booted foot away.

Van looked down from his perch. "...Hmm?" Then, as Folken eyed him. "...I'm listening."

Folken then resumed his reading. Van focused his attention then on more important things. Things such as his pet kitten, Merle, and the crown of daisies he made for her

"...Agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown." Folken droned on.

Van placed the ring of flowers on Merles head, and it slumped over, far too big. He giggles, amused. Merle batted the flowers away and they fell on Folken, who was, once more, interrupted.

"Would you pay attention to your history lesson, Van?" Folken groaned, looking up at his younger sibling, removing the flowers from his blue head.

Van leaned over, lying on the branch. "..I'm sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention when there aren't any hot girls—I mean, pictures?.. In the book.."

"There are a great many good books in this world without pictures, Van. Or hot women, for that matter." Folken gave his brother a look.

"Hmph. Maybe in your world. In my world, The book would be nothing but hot women." Van mused.

Folken raised an eyebrow. "..Your world? That's nonsense." He closed the book. "Provocative nonsense."

Van grinned. "That's it, Merle! In my world it'd be nothing but provocative nonsense." He sat the kitten on his lap.

Merle nodded, then did a double take. "..Meow?" She looked up at him questioningly.

"Nothing would be what it is. Everything would be what it isn't. Contrarily wise, what it is, it wouldn't be." Van announced.

Merle blinked. "..So, Dilandau would be a man."

Folken threw the book at Merle, silencing her as Van rattled on.

Van hopped out of the tree. "In my world, you wouldn't say 'Meow.' You'd say, 'Yes, Lord Van'" The raven haired boy gestured a mock curtsey with his powder blue shirt. Merle meowed again, remembering Folken was nearby somewhere offset.

"Oh but you would." Van scooped Merle up, carrying her over to a field of daisies, filled with colorful butterflies. "You'd be just like people, Merle." Van sat down as the music started to play. Setting Merle down in the daisies. "Why, in my world..."

There is a long pause as the music plays. Van remains silent until a book comes flying, hitting his head. He yelled, angry, and began to recite the song with a monotone voice...

"..They'd wear shoes and pants and fancy little guymelefs. In a world of my own. All the flowers would have very extra special powers. They'd talk to me for hours...When I'm lonely...There'd be new birds. Nice and friendly how-de-doo Alsiedes—birds. Everyone would have a dozen cat girls. Within that world of my own. I could actually understand Hitomi. In a world of my own. I keep wishing it could be that way, because my world would be a wonderland."

Van had since wandered over to a brook and was staring at his reflection in the water. He touched the water with his hand and the water rippled.

Instead of his own reflection, a white rabbit appeared. He was hopping from stone to stone across the brook while whistling.

Merle smacked Van upside the head. "Wakeup!" she ducked, evading another flying book, which hit the rabbit.

"-Ow! Son of a--hey! A rabbit wear leather and armor carrying a flamethrower.." Van sat up, watching the crazed bunny torch the insolent book that had struck his beautiful face.

The white rabbit then began hopping away--or something like that until he started panting in exhaustion. He dropped the act and began to run off, his fake bunny ears bobbing as he went. "I'm late, I'm late, For a very important date! No time to say moero- - wait, I just did--I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"

Van got, setting off after the weapon carrying 'rodent'..."C'mere, Dilandau! I wanna take a picture of you with bunny ears!!" And, after reviewing the script for the first time, "I wonder where he is going...? It must be _awfully_ Important. Like a party or something... No, nobody'd ever invite Dilandau.."

Dilandau continued running down the path. "No no no no no! I'm late, nimrod! Late!" Dilandau then disappeared through a rabbit hole, though no without muttering something that sounded suspiciously like moero as he crawled through the little tunnel.

"..Hey, a dark hole...Ooh..." Van dropped to his hands and knees and entered, Merle close behind. "Sure is cramped.. But it's so worth taking a picture of that pyro in bunny ear! It's gonna be a lot of trouble when Folken finds ou-ouuuttt!" Van fell over a ledge, down a big black tunnel. "...Merle! You pushed meee!" His voice echoed through the cavernous hole.

Merle snickered and waved as Van disappeared.

Van's wings sprouted out and he floated slowly down the shaft. Elevator music began to play and he passed random objects that floated in midair. Then, he spotted the ultimate toy. He snatched it.

"Alright! A Dilandau voodoo doll. Pins- I NEED pins!" Van looked around frantically for some sharp object of some kind to poke the doll with and found none.

Another bunny appeared and grabbed the cute little toy. "Unhand my plushie!" She then disappeared.

Van pouted. "These people are no fun." He turned upside down as he continued to slowly fall. "People are just so- oh!" Van slapped on a tile floor. "...Hey! I'm supposed to get caught on something!" He stood and dusted himself off and hears Dilandau laughing. From down the hall before him, Van could see Dilandau's shadow around the bend.

"Why you little!" Van set off after the evil bunny. He turned a corner and bumped into a door. "When I get my mits on you...!" Van opened the door only to find a smaller door. Beyond that, an even smaller door. After that, a really small, annoying little door. Van once more crawled through the cramped space and entered a huge, empty room.

On the wall opposite where he stood was a red curtain. Being the boy he is, Van opened the curtain to find... Chesta.

"Dude, why are you stuck to a wall?" Van asked.

Chesta rolled his eyes. "I'm a door, duh."

Van looked the Dragon Slayer over, filled with confusion and mirth. "..You've got no knobs."

"And you've got no brains. I don't see your point, wing boy." Chesta replied snidely.

"...Hey. Wait a sec- oh! You're right." Van withdrew his wings. "..So, hw do I get past you and catch up to bunny boy?"

Chesta folded his arms. "Nuh-uh. I'm not telling you how to get to Lord Dilandau."

"Aww...please?" Van did the puppy dog look.

"No!"

"...Pweeze?"

"I told you, no!"

This process continued for five hours, until Chesta couldn't take it any longer. "...You need a key."

"..A key, huh?" Van frowned thoughtfully, looking around the empty room.

Chesta groaned. "Are you deaf or something? The KEY on the TABLE." He pointed to the monstrously huge glass table. "See, up there!.. or are you blind too?"

"...Why are you so bitter?" Van asked snidely. "Get slapped recently or something?"

"And just HOW do you think I'm opened, anyway?" Chesta hinted and put his hands on his hips.

Van snickered. "..You mean. I. Get to. Slap you?? I've ALWAYS wanted to try that! It looks like fun!" He started fidgeting, getting excited. "How do I get the key? How? How?"

"Take a cookie from the box that suddenly appears at your feet." Chesta advised, hoping the annoying boy with the black bow tie would leave soon. "Try to be quick about it. I'm having company later."

Van gave him a look. "So you're saying some little box is gonna magically appear at my feet? Man, that bunny slapped you hard."

"Look at the floor, you friggin moron!" Chesta growled angrily.

"..Hey! You know what? I could use my wings!" Van announced, unfurling his wings and flying up.

"..No...wait...stop...your ruining the story..." Chesta said, not even trying to sound concerned.

Van came scampering back shortly after, holding a sword. "..Hey...This is a _sword,_ not a key!...Does that mean I get to stab you, too?"

"No! Moron! Just gimme the sword and do the other thing and be on your way." Chesta corrected. "

"..Kill joy." Van handed Chesta the sword and slapped him. Chest disappeared and Van found himself in a vast ocean. "Hey! You tricked me!!"

* * *

A/N: Sadly No we don't own Escaflowne....


End file.
